NBA 2017-18 Season Final Recap

Well I think it’s best to start this off with an honest heartfelt apology: fans, we’re sorry. We’re sorry we haven’t published an NBA recap in almost 3 months. We’re sorry we didn’t answer all of your DMs about where the hell the recaps were. And mostly we’re sorry that we’ve been quietly winning buckets of cash and not bragging about it online so you know what you’re missing out on. We messed up.

But what good is an apology without an explanation? Well luckily we have a damn good reason for our absence that anyone who’s ever found winning ways will totally understand – the rest of the Twitterverse might be left slack-jawed and confused. You see, it’s literally impossible to go 58% on NFL game lines and 57% on props throughout a season and not get noticed by people who make it their business to know about these types of things. This site only gets major traffic from four countries: the United States, Costa Rica, Panama, and Curacao – let that sink in. In short, we all got poached by online casinos to fix their sportsbooks and sort out their lines and bookmaking. Quite frankly, it couldn’t have happened to nicer guys.

Where is the Sports Information Network?

To be 100% transparent, which of course has always been the theme of this honorable website, it was technically AnonymousGamblr who got hired away from the group first in early February. This obviously sent a shockwave through the entire Sports Information Network since he’s the surly, drunken captain who’s piloted this ship through the rocky waters of Twouting like Joseph Hazelwood navigating the iceberg-infested waters of Alaska after a bottle of Jim Beam. (In Hazelwood’s defense the radar had been broken for over a year but Exxon said it was too expensive to fix. Stay classy, guys!)

Anyway, as A.G. was packing up his bags to head to sunny Costa Rica while the rest of us shivered in a Canadian winter that seemed like it would never end, he confirmed with us that he was going to continue to do the tout as long as it didn’t interfere with his new position. For a mangy, abrasive internet tout, he actually does have a decent set of morals that he refuses to compromise.

Now we get to the part of the story that’s hard to believe. Literally 3 days after AnonymosGamblr informed us that he *might* not be available to do the tout anymore, a small offshore gambling site emailed A.G. asking for Jacques Tanenbaum’s contact info, (for full disclosure, this book had originally contacted A.G. to join them but he had already accepted the other position and said that they should ask Jacques if he’s interested).

So what happened? They called J.T. on the landline in his dungeon and he hung up on them 3 times thinking they were the Feds and only gave them 5 minutes after A.G. confirmed they were legit. Long story short, they flew him first class to a Central American country that shall remain nameless and dazzled him with exotic meats and sugary booze-filled drinks for a week. So this NFL season he’ll sit in his dungeon doing the same shit he’s been doing for the last 30 years but now he has a dedicated hotline on his desk for the book to call him and make sure that their lines aren’t off. And you know that the rat-bastard is probably going to hammer those exact same lines before he answers his phone to tell them that they’re weak. You honestly can’t make this shit up.

And what about the guy behind our winning NBA gambling picks, Angelo Di Traglia? Well he ain’t going anywhere – he just had another kid, opened up a second barber shop in the Montreal area, and has more money than Barbicide now that A.G. has helped him perfect his prop prediction models and showed him how to get his money down on weak lines at sportsbooks around the world. Did I mention that you can’t make this shit up?

Finally we get to your friend and humble narrator, I, Charles Hammer. Am I retired now and typing this from a beach in the Caribbean? Nope. Far, far from it. You see, my only jobs in life were to write for this crappy website, throw my bankroll at anything the boys told me to, and find excellent investment vehicles for my easily-gotten gains. My vehicle of choice? Cryptocurrency, of course! I’m going to assume that you already know how that turned out, and don’t think that I wasn’t investigating rope-coin a few months ago as I watched my 6-figure portfolio slide down the toilet like a perfectly-formed turd after a 7 day bran binge.

Just as I was losing every dollar I’d made in the last 5 years, the news came through the wire that A.G. was bouncing from SIN and I thought that I was going to have to go back to a 9 to 5. The thought of that alone gave me panic attacks and I didn’t sleep for a week. Just as I was beginning to accept my fate as a commoner AnonymousGamblr messaged me and said that he was going to bring me with him, (see – he really is a decent guy). He knew that I was screwed and told his new employer that they had to hire me for a marketing role in order to seal the deal with him. They immediately agreed and the next day I had a flight itinerary to Costa Rica sitting in my inbox. They didn’t even ask me for a resume. The Benevolent Tout had struck again.

NBA 2017/2018 Gambling Pick Results

Now that you’re all caught up on what’s been going on with the Sports Information Network, you can hopefully understand why we haven’t been publishing any results and barely posted any free professional basketball betting selections for you to cash in on. Ok – time to get to the results so you guys can see what you’ve been missing out on.

Well, here’s the funny thing…you just read the shit-show above – do you think we’ve honestly been keeping track of how we’re doing? The new girl we hired was given access to AnonymousGamblr’s email account and was charged with cleaning it all up. She said it was like a rat’s nest and there was no clear record of what’s been sent out so we cobbled together the emails from A.G.’s Sent Folder and came up with the results below.

We implore our paying members to read the following results and call us out if they’re incorrect. Are we missing anything? If yes, please email us and we’ll update this recap immediately. We honestly don’t know what our picks were, (which is just what paying members want to hear from the professionals they trust to boost their bankrolls and give them quality betting plays). All we know is that we got super busy and sent out plays sporadically as we bet them ourselves, while losing our shirts on Bitcoin Cash and Trons, and preparing ourselves to go work for reputable offshore companies.

SIN MEMBERS: Is this every regular season pick sent out over the last few months? Until we hear from you, we’re treating these numbers as gospel. The thing is that some of these results don’t make any sense – we don’t send out game line plays without sending the sheet full of props too. So where the hell are the prop plays on certain days? We have no frickin’ clue.

Anyway, here you go:

 

Feb 13

Game Lines:

Atlanta +7.5 W

OKC -2 L

Minnesota +3 L

Props:

Hassan Whiteside (MIA) Pts+Rbs u27.5 -115 W

DeMar DeRozan (TO) Pts+Rbs+Asst u33.5 -115 W

Dewayne Dedmon (ATL) Pts+Rbs u20 -115 L

Chris Paul (HOU) Pts u21.5 -115 W

Clint Capela (HOU) Pts u15.5 -115 W

Lebron James (CLE) Pts+Rbs+Asst u46.5 -115 L

Harrison Barnes (DAL) Pts u19 -115 W

Dennis Smith Jr (DAL) Rbs+Asst o9.5 -115 L

Pau Gasol (SAS) Pts u15 -115 W

 

Feb 14

Game Lines:

Portland +6 W

Brooklyn +4 L

New York +4.5 L

Props:

Hassan Whiteside (MIA) Pts+Rbs u26.5 -115 W

Dwight Howard (CHA) Pts+Rbs u30 -115 L

AF Aminu (POR) Rbs u7.5 +100 L

 

Feb15

Game Lines:

Denver +2.5 W

Props:

Brandon Ingram (LAL) Pts u18.5 -115 W

Josh Hart (LAL) Pts+Rbs u18 -115 W

KA Towns (MIN) Rbs o11.5 -130 W

Julius Randle (LAL) Pts u18.5 -130 L

Julius Randle (LAL) Asst u3.5 -120 W

 

Feb 22

Game Lines:

Washington +6 W

Chicago +7 W

Brooklyn +8 L

Props:

Dwight Howard (CHA) Pts u17.5 -115 W

DJ Augustin (ORL) Pts o10.5 -130 W

JR Smith (CLE) Pts u11 -135 L

Danilo Gallinari (LAC) Pts o16.5 -120 L

DeAndre Jordan (LAC) Rbs o12.5 -110 W

Courtney Lee (NY) Pts u13.5 -135 W

Lebron James (CLE) Rbs u9.5 -130 W

Tobias Harris (LAC) Rbs u6.5 -130 W

Dwight Howard (CHA) Pts+Rbs u31.5 +105 L

Enes Kanter (NY) Pts+Rbs u28.5 +100 W

Kris Dunn (CHI) Pts+Asst u20 -125 W

 

Feb 23

Detroit +2 L

Memphis +5 L

Phoenix +6 L

 

Feb 27

Game Lines:

LA Clippers +5 W

Chicago +10.5 L

Washington/Milwaukee u211.5 W

Props:

Robert Covington (PHI) Pts o10.5 -115 L

Dario Saric (PHI) Pts u15.5 -125 L

Goran Dragic (MIA) Pts o17.5 +105 W

Tomas Satoransky (WAS) Pts u11 -125 W

Bogdan Bogdanovic (SAC) Pts u13 -125 L

AF Aminu (POR) Pts o8.5 -135 W

Zach Levine (CHI) Pts u21.5 -120 W

D’Angelo Russel (BKN) Pts u16.5 +110 L

Markieff Morris (WAS) Pts o10.5 -125 W

Feb 28

Dallas +4.5 W

Atlanta +4.5 W

LA Clippers +8.5 L

 

March 1

Game Lines:

Philadelphia +2.5 W

Miami -5 L

Minnesota/Portland u217.5 W

Props:

Julius Randle (LAL) Pts+Rbs u27.5 -115 L

Hasaan Whiteside (MIA) Pts u16 -115 W

Robert Covington (PHI) Pts o10 -115 P

George Hill (CLE) Pts o10.5 -115 L

Tristan Thompson (CLE) Pts o6.5 -115 L

Spencer Dinwiddie (BKN) Pts o11.5 -115 L

KA Towns (MIN) Pts u23 -115 L

Andrew Wiggins (MIN) Pts u22 -115 W

Jeff Teague (MIN) Pts u17.5 -115 W

Julius Randle (LAL) Pts u17.5 -125 L

Ben Simmons (PHI) Pts o15.5 -120 W

Andrew Wiggins (MIN) Pts u22.5 -125 W

Jeff Teague (MIN) Pts u17.5 -120 W

 

March 2

Washington +4 L

Atlanta +13 W

Milwaukee -4 L

 

March 6

Game Lines:

Charlotte +1.5 L

Dallas +6 W

OKC +5 L

Props:

Robert Covington (PHI) Pts o10.5 -115 W

James Harden (HOU) Rbs+Asst u14.5 -115 L

Russell Westbrook (OKC) Pts u28.5 -120 L

Jrue Holiday (NO) Pts u23.5 -115 W

Tobias Harris (LAC) Pts+Rbs u27.5 -115 W

DeAndre Jordan (LAC) Pts u14 -115 W

Steph Currey (GS) Pts+Rbs+Asst o37.5 -115 W

Kevin Durant (GS) Rbs+Asst o11 -115 L

Draymond Green (GS) Rbs+Asst o14.5 -15 L

March 7

Game Lines:

Detroit +5.5 W

Denver -3.5 L

Sacramento +5.5 L

Props:

Ricky Rubio (UTA) Pts o11.5 -125 W

Joe Ingles (UTA) Pts u12 -115 W

Bojan Bogdanovic (IND) Pts o14.5 -125 L

JayMychal Green (MEM) Pts u12.5 -115 W

Dillon Brooks (MEM) Pts u12.5 -115 L

John Henson (MIL) Pts o8 -115 L

Serge Ibaka (TO) Pts o11.5 -115 L

Bogdan Bogdanovic (SAC) Pts u15.5 -115 W

George Hill (CLE) Pts u12.5 -115 W

Rodney Hood (CLE) Pts o13 -125 W

Nikola Jokic (DEN) Pts o15.5 -115 W

Jamal Murray (DEN) Pts u16.5 -115 W

Lonzo Ball (LAL) Pts o11.5 -115 W

 

March 8

Game Lines:

Minnesota +2.5 L

Charlotte -7 L

Oklahoma City -10 W

Props:

Allen Crabbe (BKN) Pts u13.5 -125 L

Al Horford (BOS) Pts o11.5 -120 W

Jeff Teague (MIN) Pts u16.5 +100 W

Andrew Wiggins (MIN) Pts u21.5 -135 W

Russell Westbrook (OKC) Pts u28.5 +100 W

LaMarcus Aldridge (SAN) Pts u23 -125 L

Steph Curry (GSW) Pts o25.5 -105 L

March 9

Game Lines:

LA Clippers PK W

Toronto +2.5 W

Houston/Toronto u221 W

Props:

Kent Bazemore (ATL) Pts o13 -105 L

Reggie Bullock (DET) Pts u14 -115 L

Clint Capela (HOU) Pts+Rbs u25.5 -115 L

Kyle Lowry (TO) Pts+Rbs+Asst o28 -115 W

Serge Ibaka (TO) Pts+Rbs o17.5 -115 W

Derrick Favors (UTA) Pts o11 -115 W

Bradley Beal (WAS) Rbs+Asst u11.5 +105 W

Julius Randle (LAL) Pts u19 -115 W

Lonzo Ball (LAL) Pts+Rbs+Asst o25 -115 W

Kevin Durant (GS) Pts u31.5 -115 L

Klay Thompson (GS) Pts u22.5 -115 L

Jusuf Nurkic (POR) Pts+Rbs u23 -115 W

Larry Nance (CLE) Pts u14 -115 L

Rodney Hood (CLE) Pts o13.5 -115 L

 

March 12

Memphis +7.5 L

Houston -11.5 W

 

March 13

Game Lines:

Brooklyn +9 L

Charlotte +5 W

Chicago +7 W

Props:

Jeff Teague (MIN) Pts u16 -125 W

Andrew Wiggins (MIN) Pts u21 -115 W

Bradley Beal (WAS) Rbs+Asst u11 -115 W

Jonas Valanciunas (TOR) Pts u13.5 -120 L

Jonas Valanciunas (TOR) Rbs u8.5 -110 L

Spencer Dinwiddie (BKN) Pts o11 -115 L

D’Angelo Russel (BKN) Pts o16.5 +100 W

Harrison Barnes (DAL) Pts+Rbs u25.5 -115 L

Dennis Smith Jr (DAL) Rbs+Asst o8.5 -145 L

Russell Westbrook (OKC) Rbs u10.5 -130 L

Dennis Schroder (ATL) Pts o18.5 -115 L

DeAndre Jordan (LAC) Pts u13.5 -115 L

Austin Rivers (LAC) Pts u15.5 +120 W

Ish Smith (DET) Pts o11 +130 L

 

March 14

Game Lines:

Boston +4 W

Orlando +9.5 W

Props:

Tony Snell (MIL) Pts u6.5 -125 W

Tomas Satoransky (WAS) Pts u10 +105 P

Tomas Satoransky (WAS) Rbs+Asst u9.5 -115 W

Tyler Johnson (MIA) Pts u13.5 +130 L

Goran Dragic (MIA) Pts u18.5 +100 L

Bogdan Bogdanovic (SAC) Pts u13.5 -115 L

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (LAL) Rbs u6.5 -135 W

 

March 16

LA Clippers +5 L

Orlando +6 L

Dallas +11 W

 

March 20

Boston +5 W

LA Clippers +4 L

Orlando +10.5  W

 

March 21

IND -1 L

LAC +5.5 W

 

March 23

CHI +5.5 L

NY +7.5 W

LAC +3.5 L

 

March 24

MEM +6.5 L

DAL +2.5 L

PHO +7 W

 

March 29

Chicago +13 W

San Antonio +4 W

 

March 30

DEN +4 W

ATL +8 L

DAL +6 W

 

Final Regular Season Record:

Game Lines: 78-68-1 (53.42%)

Props: 349-242-13 (59.05%)

 

So there’s all the results that we have in our records. Is this all of them? Again, we always send out prop numbers with game line plays so I personally think that there’s information missing. Do I care? Yes – transparency is everything. We’re Touts of the People so numbers matter. But for now, this is all we have.

And as a reward for making it to the end of this mammoth post I’m going to tell you what happened to Dick Knotts, the sometimes writer at this site who unfortunately happens to be my brother. Well, for anyone who’s been with us since the beginning will well know, Dick’s a bit of a handful and can’t be trusted to make a cup of coffee let alone manage his own life in a mature and responsible way. As soon as he heard that me and AnonymousGamblr were headed to Costa Rica he hopped on a flight and arrived before we even got down here.

His main accomplishment since his plane touched down was spending 4 nights and $7,000 at the Del Rey before getting thrown out by hotel security at 5 in the morning for “being a disturbance”, and then spending 8 hours in the back of a local police car. Seriously – the cops didn’t even want to arrest him…just let him sleep his bender off in their cruiser. You gotta love this country. Pura Vida.