Another week of NFL, another week of Sports Information Network winning prognostications, and to be honest, it’s really starting to get boring. I’m serious, let me explain. I’m what’s known in the industry as a “recreational gambler”, meaning that my betting habits are so pedestrian I’m literally 50% meatball every time I place a wager. I’m the kind of guy that online sportsbooks dream about – I chase the “highs” of the activity, not the almighty dollar.
My betting patterns are basically the polar opposite of SIN experts who sell picks while also making good, steady money making identical wagers themselves. The problem is that I don’t like good, steady money – I like a lot of money very quickly on one bet and then celebrating that win for 3 days. It’s just who I am. It’s the Dick Knotts style of gambling. And I certainly don’t recommend that anyone tries it at home. I’m basically a thinner, cleaner Artie Lang, who tells funnier jokes.
So how is your boy D-Knot rolling for NFL 2017? Like a busted sack of garbage, that’s how. First of all, my girlfriend took over my main accounts in the beginning of November after the Boyz in the Network had their amazing run and got everyone paid big time. I of course blew the winnings on meals, bottles, and parties, but since I’m the absolute worst at managing gambling units I also laid down some stupid large bets on a few big parlays. Shockingly, I lost.
Anyway, due to my mid-season meltdown there’s a new system in place. My girlfriend gets the picks on Sunday morning from A.G., she goes in and places all the wagers, I’m then informed of what the actual bets were, I watch football all day and drink beer, and then on Tuesday I’m told how much “we” are withdrawing from the sportsbook. Most people would love this – I basically have an invisible ATM machine that gives me money every week…and it totally sucks. It’s all money and no action…and if there’s no action, I ain’t having any fun.
So I guess it’s a damn good thing that I’ve got my crypto account to play with and keep me busy – because if I’m not losing money on the Buffalo Bills at home in a 6 team parlay, you’d better damn well believe that I’m losing my money somewhere. Hello, Bitcoin Cash!! Come kick me right in the BCH.
Oh – and if you don’t understand the image at the top of this article you’ve obviously never seen Owning Mahowny starring the wonderful Philip Seymour Hoffman in one of his best roles. It’s based on the true story of Canadian bank manager Brian Molony who stole $10 million from his employers to fuel his casino addiction. Seymour Hoffman’s portrayal is both heartbreaking and boring – the absence of all emotion as he’s betting is downright creepy. He simply places continuous stakes without enjoying any of the wins or the action…trust me when I say that this is a very sad movie, but a must-watch film for anyone who likes to visit a casino.
This of course is how SIN members get down – no emotion, all business, win 60% of the time, collect cash, repeat…and it sounds absolutely terrible to me, but as I just explained, I’m far from a “professional”.
Here’s how the invisible ATM kept printing cash this week while delivering zero kicks. I mean, is it even considered “gambling” if steadily hitting a 60% win percentage? Probably not.
Game Lines: 3-2-2
Chiefs +1 W
Bengals +11 L
Seahawks -2.5 L
Panthers -2.5 W
Steelers +3 P
Cowboys -3 P
Buccaneers +7.5 W
Props: 48-37-1
Frank Gore (IND) Rushing Yards o52.5 +110 L
Frank Gore (IND) Rushing Yards o52.5 +110 L
Trevor Siemian (DEN) Passing Yards -15.5 -115 v Brissett L
Demaryius Thomas (DEN) Receiving Yards -5.5 -115 v Hilton W
Frank Gore (IND) Rushing Yards o54.5 +135 L
Eric Ebron (DET) Receiving Yards u45.5 -120 W
Kenny Galloday (DET) Receiving Yards u40.5 -110 W
Jordan Howard (CHI) Rushing Yards u90.5 -125 W
Travis Kelce (KC) Receiving Yards u64.5 -110 W
Tyrell Williams (SD) Receiving Yards u43.5 -130 L
Phillip Rivers (SD) Completions u23.5 -110 W
Alex Smith (KC) Completions u21.5 +105 L
Hunter Henry (SD) Receiving Yards u50.5 -140 W
Travis Kelce (KC) Receiving Yards u67.5 -110 W
Jordan Howard (CHI) Rushing Yards u90.5 -125 W
Kenny Galloday (DET) Receiving Yards u40.5 -110 W
Eric Ebron (DET) Receiving Yards u45.5 -120 W
Tarik Cohen (CHI) Rush+Receiving Yards u48.5 -115 W
Aaron Rodgers (GB) Passing Yards -20.5 -115 v Newton W
Jamaal Williams (GB) Rushing Yards +10.5 -130 v Stewart W
Christian McCaffrey (CAR) Rush+Receiving Yards u68.5 -115 L
Jamison Crowder (WAS) Receiving Yards +10.5 -115 v Fitzgerald W
Josh Doctson (WAS) Receiving Yards u42.5 -110 W
Blaine Gabbert (ARI) Passing Yards o214.5 -110 L
Kerwynn Williams (ARI) Rushing Yards u66.5 -115 W
Samaje Perine (WAS) Rushing Yards u65.5 -110 W
Isaiah Crowell (CLE) Rushing Yards u65.5 -115 L
Josh Gordon (CLE) Receiving Yards u75.5 -110 W
DeShone Kizer (CLE) Passing Yards u211.5 -110 W
Brandon LaFell (CIN) Receiving Yards u44.5 -115 L
Jordy Nelson (GB) Receiving Yards o54.5 -115 L
Jonathan Stewart (CAR) Rushing Yards u62.5 -130 W
Marcedes Lewis (JAX) Receiving Yards u25.5 -110 W
Kenyan Drake (MIA) Rushing Yards u87.5 -120 W
Jarvis Landry (MIA) Receiving Yards u65.5 -115 L
Jonathan Stewart (CAR) Rushing Yards u55.5 -120 W
Christian McCaffrey (CAR) Rushing+Receiving Yards u68.5 -120 L
Devin Funchess (CAR) Receiving Yards u67.5 -120 W
Latavius Murray (MIN) Rushing Yards u68.5 -120 L
DeAndre Hopkins (HOU) Receiving Yards u88.5 -125 W
DeShone Kizer (CLE) Passing Yards u208.5 -115 W
Josh Doctson (WAS) Receiving Yards u39.5 -115 W
Eli Manning (NYG) Completions u20.5 +125 L
Nick Foles (PHI) Completions o19.5 -125 W
Orleans Darkwa (NYG) Rushing Yards o37.5 +200 L
Aaron Rodgers (GB) Passing Yards -20.5 -130 v Newton W
Christian McCaffrey (CAR) Rushing+Receiving Yards u67.5 -110 L
Jonathan Stewart (CAR) Rushing Yards u52.5 -110 W
Stefon Diggs (MIN) Receptions u4.5 -125 L
Latavius Murray (MIN) Rushing Yards u67.5 -125 L
Nick Foles (PHI) Completions o19.5 -120 W
Sterling Shepard (NYG) Receiving Yards o45.5 -115 W
Jonathan Stewart (CAR) Rushing Yards u52.5 -110 W
Latavius Murray (MIN) Rushing Yards u70.5 -130 L
DeAndre Hopkins (HOU) Receiving Yards u88.5 -125 W
Blake Bortles (JAX) Completions o18.5 -130 W
Marcedes Lewis (JAX) Receptions o2 +120 P
Josh Doctson (WAS) Receiving Yards u39.5 -115 W
Afternoon Games
Jared Goff (LAR) Passing Yards +10.5 -115 v Wilson L
Tom Brady (NE) Completions u26.5 -130 W
Antonio Brown (PIT) Receiving Yards -22.5 -130 v Cooks L
Rob Gronkowski (NE) Receiving Yards u75.5 -115 L
Rob Gronkowski (NE) Receptions u6 -135 L
Carlos Hyde (SF) Rushing Yards -10.5 -115 v Murray L
Marquise Goodwin (SF) Receiving Yards -15.5 -115 v Matthews W
Marquise Goodwin (SF) Receptions o4.5 -115 W
JuJu Smith (PIT) Receiving Yards u57.5 -135 L
Doug Baldwin (SEA) Receiving Yards u67.5 -135 W
Todd Gurley (LAR) Receiving Yards u42.5 -125 W
Robert Woods (LAR) Receiving Yards u60.5 -130 W
Doug Baldwin (SEA) Receiving Yards u68.5 -120 W
Rob Gronkowski (NE) Receiving Yards u75.5 -115 L
Martavis Bryant (PIT) Receiving Yards u40.5 -125 L
JuJu Smith (PIT) Receiving Yards u58.5 -125 L
Marquise Goodwin (SF) Receiving Yards o70.5 +145 W
Martavis Bryant (PIT) Receiving Yards u40.5 -115 L
Sunday Night Football
Dak Prescott (DAL) Rushing Yards u24.5 -115 L
Alfred Morris (DAL) Rushing Yards -5.5 -115 v Lynch L
Alfred Morris (DAL) Rushing Yards -10.5 +105 v Lynch L
Michael Crabtree (OAK) Receiving Yards o67.5 +120 L
Michael Crabtree (OAK) Receiving Yards o61.5 -125 L
Dak Prescott (DAL) Rushing Yards u24.5 -120 L
Monday Night Football
Devonta Freeman (ATL) Rushing Yards u81.5 +102 L
Mohammed Sanu (ATL) Receiving Yards u54.5 -115 W
Mohammed Sanu (ATL) Receiving Yards u53.5 -115 W
Mohammed Sanu (ATL) Receiving Yards u56.5 -135 W
Game Lines Season: 72-47-6 (60.5%)
Props Season: 577-408-4 (58.6%)
So that’s how “smart” people won last week. Lots of different action, spread out over advantage plays that were based on mathematics, placed using strict unit management. Philip Seymour Hoffman would be proud, but this method doesn’t do much for me. Where is the 5 team parlay built around the Bills at home?!?
Anyway, I think we’re done here guys – buy NFL betting picks from SIN and make gains…or don’t…I really don’t care anymore. We’ve proven that the system works and if you want to get in on it, great. If not, there’s nothing more I can tell you – our winning percentages speak for themselves. And for that reason, this will be my last NFL recap of the year – there’s just nothing more to say. I’ve explained the system and the results, and I even educated you on the beauty of breaking even and the greatness of Judas Priest. I think we’re finally come to the end of the road.
Thanks for reading.
D-KNOT OUT